First, decide whether you merely wish to borrow elements of Victorian style, or if you prefer to go all-out with detailed Victorian customs, dress, and etiquette. If it's detail you're after, the subject is well covered on the Internet, so research should be easy. You'll have the most fun, though, simply choosing what you like best and creating your own unique Victorian theme feel.
Perfect settings for your Victorian theme wedding would be a garden (especially one with a gazebo), a Victorian-era house or inn, or a church with classic Victorian styling. Consider borrowing or renting antiques from the era to use at your reception. Flowers and greenery were extremely popular in Victorian times. Potted ferns on pedestals, huge potted palms, or festoons of evergreen boughs hung on the walls would all be appropriate.
If the place you've selected has a chandelier, great. If not, you can create the same elegant effect with candelabras placed on your tables. Or, if you'd prefer a more casual look, make centerpieces using old-style cup-and-saucer sets from thrift stores or yard sales. Look for cups of varying heights and design. Place crocheted or tatted doilies under the saucers, fill each cup half full with water, and float a single blossom on the surface. Violets and pansies were popular Victorian flowers. For a modern twist, use floating candles instead of blossoms.
Victorian bridal gowns were always white with long sleeves and high necks. A bride always wore gloves, and often a sixpence in her shoe for good luck. Minimal jewelry was worn, but an antique cameo brooch at the neck would be in keeping with the Victorian flavor. Sometimes she wore a veiled hat in place of a veil. This was usually decorated with ribbons and orange blossoms.
Unless you want to rent an entire costume, or are very skilled at sewing, you'll want to merely suggest Victorian elegance for the groom. A cutaway tuxedo with vest, top hat, and kid gloves will give him the right look. Victorian boutonnieres tended to be very large. If you'd like, you could invite your guests to participate in your theme by wearing Victorian-style clothing. You might ask your photographer to use black-and-white film for some of his or her shots, then have these photos printed on special, sepia-toned paper.
Aim for an engraved-look with your invitations and word the text formally. Check out a Victorian-era novel from the library to get a feel for the language, or watch a period-piece movie set in Victorian times.
Victorian theme wedding cakes were large and elaborate, usually a rich, heavy fruitcake iced in white and decorated with fancy piped scrolls. Orange blossoms were a favorite topping. Why not serve your guests tea from an antique silver tea service to go with the cake?
Rosemary was traditionally given as a wedding favor, symbolizing remembrance. You could give small pots planted with this herb. Cover each pot with a lace doily and tie with ribbons. Include a fancy tag with instructions for transplanting and care. Or give teacups filled with cameo chocolates or Jordan almonds and wrapped in tinted cellophane. Small silver picture frames containing Victorian love poems, either handwritten or in a calligraphy font, or crocheted doilies tied with ribbons would make nice, nostalgic favors, too.
How about having your guests play a popular Victorian parlor game, such as Blind Man's Bluff or Charades? Or for something really different, you could have a Victorian picnic. Picnics were a favorite during Victorian times, and people dressed up to attend. Make sure there's enough natural shade to accommodate everyone. If not, you could put up canvas pavilions adorned with flowers and ribbons.
Seat your guests on fringed plaid blankets on the lawn. Serve pre-packed meals in lined wicker baskets decked with bows. Menu items might include finger sandwiches (remove crusts and cut each sandwich into four triangles, or cut into fancy shapes with cookie cutters), small sausages, fresh fruit, and buttered scones with jam or lemon curd. Petit fours would make a fancy, easy-to-eat picnic dessert. Or make fresh, hand-cranked ice cream. Some beverages popular during the Victorian era were lemonade, root beer, alcoholic beer, and tea.
If you go with the picnic idea, why not entertain your guests with a game of croquet afterwards? Archery, badminton, and horseshoes were also favorite Victorian outdoor games.
Classical music was the music of choice in Victorian times. You could hire a string quartet or other small musical group to play pieces that were popular during the late nineteenth century. Piano music was all the rage then, too.
Like the Victorian era itself, your carefully planned Victorian theme wedding will become a timeless classic of grace, charm and romance.