The first and most important aspect of etiquette for mailing wedding invitations is to make sure you have a complete list of correct, up-to-date addresses.
This is something to think about well in advance of your wedding invitation mailing.
Send out group e-mails to friends and family members asking for up-to-date addresses. Make phone calls if necessary. Assign a few people to help you collect addresses (especially if you're having a large wedding), as the process can be time-consuming.
Etiquette for mailing wedding invitations requires that you create a master list of invited guests, preferably in a spread-sheet computer program that you can access regularly to make updates. You can later use this same list to track who has RSVP'd, how many extra people or "dates" will be coming, and later as a list for thank-you notes.
If you plan to invite children, add their names to the list. Children older than 16 should receive their own invitation.
When it comes time to sit down and address the invitations, it's best to gather four or five people together, but not too many more. If you have too many helpers, it might contribute to confusion.
Address your envelopes before stuffing them. It will be easier to write on the envelopes when they are empty, and you'll avoid the risk of ink bleeding into the contents of the envelope.
Set all contents of the invitations (everything from envelopes to stamps) on a large table, in an assembly line-style. Each person will be in charge of one detail.
If your invitations have only one fold with wording on the outside only, all insertions go on top of the invitation. If your invitations have multiple folds and/or the wording is inside the fold, insertions are placed inside the first fold.
Insertions go in the following order (from bottom to top), inside the inner envelope: invitation, tissue paper, map card, reception card, response envelope with response card under its flap.
The inner envelope is then placed inside an outer envelope, which has the address on it.
Etiquette for mailing wedding invitations dictates that the proper time to send out invitations is six to eight weeks before the wedding. If you are having out-of-town guests, consider them on the "priority list" for getting invitations first; they'll need as much time as possible to make arrangements.
When it is time for your wedding invitation mailing, visit your local post office and ask that the envelopes be hand canceled. This means they will be stamped individually instead of by machine. The envelope will look much more attractive than if done in bulk, which sometimes results in sloppy stamping.
