Party Colors
Ask your daughter what color the bridesmaids and maid of honor will be wearing. You don't have to match the color exactly, and in fact, you probably shouldn't -- too much of one color can look dull! However, do select a coordinating color. For example, if the bridesmaids will be wearing rose, a deep magenta can be a lovely look for you.
Don't wear either black or white. Wearing white as a member of the wedding party could detract from the bride's look and is never considered to be in good taste. Black for the mother of the bride was once considered a mourning color and a sign that Mom did not approve of the marriage. Although these ideas may be outdated, they are still a part of wedding guest dress etiquette; it's easiest to select instead from the dozens of other colors and shades available to you.
Perfect Pictures
When choosing your dress, you may also want to consider what the groom's mother is wearing. Don't wear an identical color, but do coordinate. The entire wedding party will stand together for a number of photographs. The last thing your daughter will want to see sitting on her mantle in years to come is a clash of colors.
Patterns are a general no-no, unless it is a very small and subtle print. Otherwise, go for either one solid color, or a solid with a trim in a complimentary color.
Style Conscious
There's nothing wrong with letting the world know who you are. At the same time, it pays to be considerate of the bride's feelings. The most important rule of dressing for a wedding is to never outshine the bride. Leave your enormous, floppy lace hat at home, and put the three inch heels back on the store shelf. This is your daughter's special day; let people notice her above anyone else.
At the same time, you can easily inject a bit of style, and your own personality, into a gorgeous and classic piece of attire. If you absolutely adore bright colors, but are afraid of clashing with the bridesmaids and the groom's mother, try a dress in a neutral color with trim in your desired hue. Or if you are young at heart and love to wear shorter skirts, try a cocktail-length dress as a compromise.
Consult with your daughter on your choice of dress, but don't let her dictate to you. If you're using these reasonable guidelines, you are probably well within the bounds of etiquette. It's likely that the bride-to-be will adore your choice of wedding wear as much as you do. If not, talk to her about it. What is it she doesn't like about the dress? Is it something the two of you can compromise on?
Keep in mind that your daughter is probably extremely nervous about things going "just so" on her big day. As the mother of the bride, it's your job to make her as comfortable as possible, but within reason. Do what you do best: hold your daughter's hand and help her through this exciting and very special time.
