Do I Need Premarital Counseling?
Even the most well-adjusted couple will find the change from single life to married life a difficult adjustment. You may find yourself frustrated and impatient with your partner; you might find that you don't treat each other the same. A trained counselor can help you talk through all these potential problems before you get married.Most marriage counselors agree on the most common problems facing newlyweds, namely, the three "c"s:
Communication: Do you and your partner talk through your disagreements? Do you honestly and openly share your feelings and needs?
Conflict resolution: Every couple fights. How do you treat each other when you do? Do you respect each other even when you're angry?
Commitment: Are you both sure you're prepared to commit to marriage? It's better to talk about any doubts or fears now rather than later!
Wedding counselors have spoken with many couples and are trained in couples' therapy; they know the problems most couples face and many time-honored methods of working through them. Premarital counseling can help you build a strong foundation for your marriage, a foundation that will help you get through the stress of building a new life together. Counselors will help you mediate any conflicts that have already arisen and better prepare yourself for problems you can't yet foresee.
Where Can I Find a Premarital Counselor?
If you're involved in a religious community, the head of your church or temple will probably be happy to counsel you. If you have a regular therapist, you can speak to him or her; if not, a licensed therapist, social worker or dedicated couples and marriage counselor can advise you. Ask a trusted doctor or religious leader for a recommendation.Some marital counselors offer specialized tests you and your couple can take to determine your best areas of compatibility and what you need to work on; others offer group therapy as well as private sessions.
Here are a few names of Virginia counselors to start with:
Carolyn Krol (Fairfax): Couples' and marital therapist with experience helping premarital and married couples resolve differences and build stronger relationships.
David Hulburt and Sherry Finneran (Richmond): This husband-and-wife team founded the Family Education Center in Richmond in 1975 to help couples thrive in their relationships. They offer couples classes as well as personal therapy.
Beth Spring (Reston): Marital therapist who works with couples at all stages of their relationship, from living together to engaged to separated. Also offers a couples' communication class.
Northern Virginia Center for Marriage and Family Therapy (Blacksburg): This training center for marriage and family therapists, part of Virginia Tech, offers low-cost premarital therapy to Northern Virginia couples.
