Traditionally, the guest list includes your attendants and their families, your officiant, and your immediate family members. It is always thoughtful to include any guests who have arrived early from out of town. Include anyone else who had a significant hand in your wedding plans, such as close friends who spent hours putting together your wedding favors. Once you have your guest list, it's time to have some fun planning a special get together for all these wonderful people. The groom's parents have the honor of hosting this party, but if distance or finances make this a burden, anyone can take over, including the bride and groom. Don't assume his mother and father won't want to help. Even if they can't tackle the entire event, let his mother help with planning the theme or picking the menu. Including your future in-laws will start a happy tradition of caring and thoughtfulness among you all.
While definitely not required, look into rehearsal dinner invitations. These can be added to your wedding stationary or created specifically for this event. This will help with catering plans or reservation lists by knowing who will be attending. Since this dinner is typically held immediately following the wedding ceremony rehearsal, it is thoughtful to mail these out about a month in advance.
When planning the dinner, give guests a chance to mingle and chat before eating. Since this party is meant as a way for all your families and friends to get to know each other, let that process happen naturally. If you will be heading out to a local restaurant, plan for a cocktail hour or finger food bar to allow guests to converse before being seated. Offer drinks and nibbles as an ice breaker if a backyard barbecue is more your style. Consider planning your dinner around a fun activity such as a special museum tour or wine tasting. Check out Historical Museums of Kansas for a county-by-county of listings across the state.
I once attended a rehearsal dinner for a formal and elegant wedding on the bride's family farm. We all were sent into a large sweet corn patch to pick our own ears. All of us, whether we knew each other before or not, became fast friends as we stomped through the corn field, laughing and joking while searching for our supper. Dinner consisted of sirloin burgers, roasted corn and local wines served to relaxed and happy guests on the deck. Offering such a contrast to the high fashion gowns and time-honored traditions of the ceremony the next day was the perfect way to allow all of us to see each other in a different light.
Regardless of where your Kansas rehearsal dinner takes place, plan to enjoy the evening. Toast your attendants and laugh about the crazy ideas you had when you first started planning. Tell the inside jokes that keep your families giggling at every gathering. Thank your parents, grandparents and attendants for all the things, big and little, which helped you plan such a milestone event. Your rehearsal dinner is about all the people who helped you make your upcoming big day special. Put the focus on them and any dinner situation you provide will be a huge success.